The Blue Rose and Her Garden.

More Changes To Come....

2010-02-27T11:33:00.000-07:00

Well my last post was about change. HAHAHA If I only knew what changes were to come! On Friday, February 19 I found out that we are going to have a baby! I had been having a few symptoms here and there, but just chalked them up to other things. Well, I decided I would just go get a couple $1 tests and see what happened. Got home and decided to take one, even though it was 3 in the afternoon, figuring it'd be negative either way since it wasn't the first urine of the day and all, I was shocked, there it was clear as day! I sat there stunned and then realized I should probably tell Nate. I took the test and showed him, he turned to me and said "What does that mean?" LOL I told him it meant I am going to have a baby and his eyes grew large and he asked if I was going to go tell Melody since just days before she had been asking for a sister.:) Needless to say, I couldn't believe it and took 2 more tests over the next couple of days, all positive
Wow! Such emotion coursing through me. Nate and I had talked about having another child, and while we weren't doing anything to prevent it we weren't exactly trying either. Nate and I had just decided it would happen when it was meant to. I had been hoping and praying for a baby for months but at the same time thinking we had time and needed to get things in our lives in order, such as finances and whatnot. So after the crazy holidays and since everybody has been so sick, I decided we should put it off and wait a while. Well SURPRISE! I couldn't be happier but I am nervous, anxious and a little scared. I mean it's been 4 years since we had a baby, we have no baby gear, diapers, clothes or anything else a baby needs. I guess we have 9 months to prepare. The kids seem pretty excited, though it's a little abstract still and Nate is happy and stressed, which is to be expected. Here's hoping we have a healthy, happy pregnancy and new bundle of joy!

Change Can Be So Wonderful

2010-02-06T13:15:00.000-07:00

We went to Melody's second Parent/Teacher Conference on Thursday February 4 and it was filled with praise and the teacher kept telling us how "perfect" Melody is, I am so grateful that Melody enjoys school so much. It was so wonderful to see the pride and happiness on not only Melody's face but also on Nate's as we left the school. I have never seen a prouder man!
Melody cannot wait to go to school she is always watching the time and pushing us out the door to catch the bus. The second she walks through the door she is eager to do homework and once it's done, she finds other things to do like color, write or teach her brothers. We have been so lucky with her self-motivation, eagerness and desire to grow and learn. I hope this is a life long thing. :)
I realized the other day that we only have about 6 months to get Coda ready for school. He, however, is NOT as willing and eager to learn. He much rather play video games and run around, like a typical little boy, getting into trouble. So we are going to have to work hard on preparing him for school. Melody is very willing and anxious to help with this, she is constantly trying to show him how to write, spell and share all her knowledge with him. I am so thankful for her help and that she is such a great big sister!
I am so proud and grateful of each and every one of my family members.I have come to really acknowledge that as a family we will be able to tackle anything, it's something you always hear and kind of know, but to actually see and feel it, is so different! I am so excited for all that this year and all the years to come will hold for us!

Caution: This post could cause some hurt, pain and anger.... but it's truthful.

2010-01-30T12:33:00.001-07:00

So lately I have been wondering why people don't say more of what they are thinking or feeling. Well, that's not totally true. I understand that people want to be liked, they want to belong, etc. Yet they go around expressing their thoughts and feelings to others instead of the person they have the issue with. I am the first to admit that I am guilty of this, big time. In fact I didn't even want to write this blog for fear of insulting or offending people or losing friendships. Then Nate pointed out to me that a blog should be a place to express yourself. I bite my tongue so often and then rant to others about whatever is bothering me. So here it goes......
People frustrate, enrage and disgust me! When did people become so selfish??!! Why is it okay to put yourself in front of your children?! People are curious as to why their children behave a certain way and then as I listen to their concerns and their frustrations and more of their "story" it is so clear to me! You have taken away their security, their safety for your own happiness. Well no wonder, why is it not obvious to you?? If I came and took away your home, the bed you've always known, your security just so that I can be happy, wouldn't you act out too? What if you didn't know how to express your anger and frustration? What if you didn't have the vocabulary to do so? Wouldn't you show it through behavior? If you are placed in a stranger's home all day with no say on who you are with, what you do, where you go, etc and then picked up late at night to be quickly fed and ushered to bed, wouldn't you feel like you have no control and therefore act "out of control"?
Why can't people sacrifice toys, cars, houses, etc even their own happiness to be with their children and provide them with the happiness they deserve? I remember when being a parent meant sacrifice, it meant doing whatever necessary to make your child a happy, well rounded individual. Somewhere that changed and those children that had parents like that for some reason decided that they are entitled to unconditional happiness even at the cost of innocent children! When I speak with and watch these people I realize that they are not truly happy. They are gaining nothing from constantly taking for themselves and then comes divorce and total upset of their children's lives, and they are still not happy and cannot seem to figure out why. Sometimes, I just want to grab people and shake them, scream at them all the things that seem to make such sense to me! It saddens me that so many of these kids are going to grow up and repeat the same sick patterns.
Then you have the parents that for whatever reason, be it social norms, divorce, guilt or whatnot seem to think that you must give your child whatever he/she wants, be their best friend, not set guidelines, rules or discipline. What?! How could that be a good idea? Children need and want guidance and leadership! Without it they have nothing but more chaos and emptiness. Could a business run without it? Then how can one think a child can grow and prosper without it?
What has happened to this world? Where is the love and compassion, the thoughtfulness, sacrifice and everything that separates us from the animals? It makes me sick and I don't know how much longer I can bite my tongue!
This post doesn't do my thoughts and feelings justice but it's start.......

Happy New Year!

2010-01-04T13:15:00.000-07:00

Wow! I can't believe it is 2010! 2009 seemed to fly by way too quickly! All in all I think we had a great year and I am excited to see what the new year holds for us! (sorry for all the exclamation points)
New Year's Eve was one of the best I have ever had! We had lunch with family and it was great to meet Nate's Aunt, Uncle and cousin. After lunch we hit the movie store and rented tons of movies and then picked up a bunch of snacks and noisemakers. Once home we set up movies and snacks and just relaxed.... for about 10 minutes and then we couldn't hold back anymore! We pulled out all the noisemakers and hats and were INCREDIBLY noisy! It was great!! Finally we settled down and watched movies until midnight, the boys however did not make it, we watched the ball drop and pulled out the sparkling cider and made more noise, waking up Coda, who smiled and stumbled to bed. Melody also hopped into bed and we left the exhausted Cadence on the couch. Nate and I climbed into bed and chatted for a couple of hours. It was wonderful! New Year's Day we did absolutely nothing! We laid around, snacked on whatever we could find and were incredibly lazy as a family! Best New Year's ever! I am so anxious to see what lies ahead for my family and I!
I don't usually set resolutions, I think we should strive to be better all the time and should constantly be making goals and whatnot for ourselves. I have decided that I have a couple of goals for the year, however. The first goal is to pay off all our debt and to set up dedicated savings accounts for the kids. The second is to go on at least one "expensive" vacation and on one whole family camping trip. We also would like to look for a larger place and plan to move, debt free, next spring.
Happy New Year all, I hope this year is as great or better than last!

Christmas '09

2010-01-04T13:00:00.000-07:00

Well, we made it through the holidays! :) They were great! Christmas was quiet and very enjoyable. I decided to make a ham and a bunch of treats on Christmas Eve this year. So Nate came home to a feast, which we all enjoyed and then we let the kids open 2 gifts each. First, they opened up their gifts from one another, it was darling! Melody received a baby doll that drinks, laughs and cries real tears from Cadence, Coda received 2 cap guns, a rifle and a pistol and some extra caps for them from Melody and Cadence received a firetruck that makes tons of noise from Coda. Then they opened up jammies from Mom and Dad, which they quickly put on for Santa. Then we made cookies and Melody insisted that Santa needed Eggnog since everyone else would be giving him milk :) and off to bed they went. We heard giggling and talking for about 10 minutes followed by silence.
Christmas morning we were woken up at 6:30, which was a bit of a struggle but so worth it! Watching the kids was wonderful and we took our time opening and playing with each gift. I baked up a few more goodies and spent the rest of the day relaxing. No where to go, nothing to do, it was wonderful! That night we took the kids to see the lights at the Layton Park. Though we missed family, it was a nice change to have a quiet, relaxing day. It was probably the best Christmas I have ever had!

Thanksgiving

2009-11-21T13:26:00.000-07:00

I love Thanksgiving! I love the fall weather, tons of delicious food, spending time with family and just sitting back relaxing. I remember going to my Grandma's house for a big feast and lots of fun with all my Aunts, Uncles and Cousins, which was normal for any holiday really. :) I remember everybody going around saying what they were thankful for, which always bothered me, shouldn't we be thankful EVERYDAY?! But I guess it is a day to express what you are grateful for (again something I think should be done daily). Anyways, here it goes, I am thankful for:

Family and friends. I am so glad to have people to share all of my achievements, stepping stones, hurts, pains and everything else in life with. I am also grateful to be available to offer support and love to those people as well.
For the opportunity to live in a country in which I have freedom and rights. I am so grateful for any and all who have served our country so that I may have those rights and freedoms. I couldn't even imagine living anywhere else. I think we all take for granted what we have and how lucky we are, and I am vowing to try harder to appreciate it each and every day.
Electricity. This is one I know I take for granted all the time. But I often find myself stopping and realizing how much I use it and how convenient it makes life. There are days I would definitely struggle without my T.V., computer, microwave, lights, heat, etc.
Jobs and Education. I am so grateful that we are able to choose what we would like to do with our lives and are given the chance to expand our minds and grow as people as well as a society.
Health. I am so glad that I am healthy, that I have the use of my limbs, ears, eyes and everything else. I admire those that go through life without the use of any of these things. I am grateful that is not a trial that I have to face. I don't think I 'd be strong enough.
Transportation. I am so glad that we have cars, trains, boats, buses and so on. I am a lazy person, I will admit, and would hate it if I had to walk everywhere. Or if I could not visit places or people I would like to. I am also thankful for all that transportation has provided us as a bigger picture.
Technology. I guess this includes electricity and transportation and whatnot. But I am grateful for modern technology, for the ability to keep in touch with one another, for medicine and all the other things we use in health care, just everything that we have today and all that we are constantly discovering.
LIFE. I am so thankful for life! I am grateful for an earthly body, for the ability to grow and learn, the opportunity to have children to teach and love and a wonderful husband to go through every twist and turn of life with!

Those are just a few of the basics that I am thankful for each and every day! I am very glad that we are given a day to reflect on them and share them with loved ones. I am also very glad that I can share them with whomever reads this.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Coda's 5!

2009-11-08T14:30:00.001-07:00

So when I began this post I was searching for photos of Coda and for some reason I couldn't find a single one!!! There were plenty of Melody and Cadence but where was Coda? Then the thought that has occurred to me plenty of times came into my mind "Coda is the middle child and the stereotype is so true, the middle child is often left out or forgotten" That is when I found the mother load, tons and tons of pictures of The Codeman, each one capturing his sweet, loving, wonderful personality. It was so difficult to choose which ones to use. I became overwhelmed with emotion as I was reminded what a challenge yet such an amazing blessing Coda has been to me!

Coda Craig came only 13 months after Melody on November 5, 2004 and the pregnancy was somewhat rough on me, here I was chasing around a sweet, very energetic little girl, taking care of our dog, Bill and still adjusting to being a wife. I put on many pounds and had gallstones during my pregnancy with Coda, but enjoyed most of it even if I was exhausted! Coda finally decided to join us after 15 hours of labor at 5:30 in the evening and as he came into this world he grabbed onto my gown and the Dr. laughed as he pried these tiny fingers off me and said what a strong grip this little guy had. Coda knew he wanted to stay with Mom and was not a very happy guy in the hospital and I was worried that I had my work cut out for me! Luckily, when we arrived home he was so well behaved and Melody quickly grew a strong bond with him!

Coda definitely has his Daddy's disposition and personality which caused them to bump head for a bit and that but now they are such great friends and I love watching them play. Coda is a great help and he gets along with both of his siblings so wonderfully. He loves being an older brother, teaching and playing with Cadence and he enjoys being able to look up to Melody and tries to impress her constantly.

Coda loves gadgets and buttons and when he was about 10 months old, he took apart Mom's vacuum, screws and all! He is very interested in how things work and is very smart, even though we have had a tough time with his speech, he speaks volumes with his actions, emotions and affection. He has taught me so much! I love the passion and excitement he exudes!

I can't believe he has grown so quickly! It seems like time has gone by even quicker with Coda then the other 2! I am very proud of all Coda has achieved and all the happiness he brings us all!
Happy 5th Birthday Coda! We love you!!

Updates

2009-10-22T11:51:00.005-06:00

So I have been horrible about updating my blog! I feel like I have nothing interesting to write about or I want to keep my blog positive or I am just too busy! Well I have been reading many blogs lately and everybody has whiny, "poor me" posts every once in a while, it makes me realize we are all human and EVERYBODY has a bad day once in a while, even the people who never appear to! I also realized that I am a fool for thinking I have nothing "interesting" to write about. Just because I don't run marathons, craft, go on trips or do anything else that I think people would find interesting, does not mean that my crazy, fun, sometimes hectic and stressful life isn't amazingly interesting to somebody and I am robbing them of their entertainment by not blogging about it! SO I am determined to be more diligent about blogging!
OK, now that I got that off my chest and out of the way, where to begin.....

Well Melody started Kindergarten this year, WOW! what an adventure that has been! Everybody told me that once the kids start school I would have more free time and wouldn't know what to do with myself, HAHA well I feel so much busier! Before school we could, at a moment's notice, jump up and go to lunch or the park or wherever our heart's desired. Now, we have to schedule things around school so that we can be sure to include Melody. Melody has homework Mon- Thurs, while it only takes 10-15 minutes it is still something we have to schedule in and remember to do along with reading. She sure loves school though! Hopefully that never changes!
Coda has taken a huge interest in Video Games, much to Daddy's delight :D He plays them every chance he gets and I think it is improving his motor skills along with his social skills, so I have no problems with it. I can't believe how much he has grown and changed over the last year!
Cadence is so in love with Thomas the train and loves playing on the website! He has also grown and changed so much! I love my kids!
Nate has had a few teeth pulled, which has been somewhat of an adventure, but other than that he is just working hard and I am so INCREDIBLY proud of all he has accomplished over the years!
My job is going quite well and though I am having to adjust to working so much, I am loving it! I have made many friends and love feeling like I am accomplishing things! Wish I had more time with my family, however. One day, I will be able to work while they are at school and be home in the evenings, can't wait for that!!
So really not too much going on, but we are keeping busy and enjoying life as much as possible! We have had our struggles and accomplishments, our ups and downs. But I know I will look back at all that has happened this year with fondness. It has been SO great! I honestly couldn't ask for more than what I have right now... Family, Friends and LOVE!!!

Me

2009-10-07T09:11:00.003-06:00

I often. . . say too much or even things I should not.
I have . . . the most amazing family EVER!
I fear . . . losing loved ones.
I feel . . . anxious and excited about changes that may happen soon.
I hear . . . the sweet sounds of children playing.
I smell . . . Nate's deodorant, it smells so yummy!
I wish . . . my house would stay clean for just one whole day.
I hate. . . being ignored and/or humored.
I think. . . life is pretty spectacular.
I know. . . that I am loved.
I want. . . to always be there for those I love.
I always. . . complain about things that aren't a big deal.
I am not. . . as patient as I should be.
I am like . . . a blue rose.
I believe. . . that we are given trials and hardships in order to grow.
I don't always. . . fight fairly.
I am happy that. . . my husband loves, appreciates and puts up with me.
I win. . . at life!
I lose. . . at video games when I play against Nate.
I never. . . thought I could be so happy!
I need. . . chocolate all the time! :D
I listen. . . to things that affect me.
I am scared of. . . not being good enough.
I read. . . when I get the chance and anything I find interesting.
I am . . . ME!

Melody!

2009-10-01T11:27:00.006-06:00

Melody Marie Madsen turned 6 years old on Wednesday, September 23, 2009. Wow, has time flown! Here are a few facts about Melody:

Melody was born at 2:57 A.M. on September 23, 2003, the first day of Autumn. She was 6 pounds, 19 1/2 inches long. It was the easiest pregnancy, labor and delivery ever! Luckily, it didn't end with the delivery, Melody was such a content, joyful, independent little baby. She already had everybody wrapped around her finger, especially her daddy!

Melody started walking at 9 months, she was so determined to be completely independent and she wanted to learn about things by herself. She soon was talking away and was definitely meant to be "the big sister" She started mothering "her babies" Coda and Cadence the second they came home from the hospital. :D

Melody has always been an amazing, interesting little girl, in some ways I think she has grown up way too quickly! When Melody was 10 months old she decided her favorite movie was the "Back to the Future" trilogy. She would insist on watching at least one every day and she would sit, glued to the television while they were on. This was sometimes a great thing for Mom because Melody had decided that she no longer needed naps about a month before, no matter what Mom tried, Melody was determined to stay awake until about 9 P.M. when she would put herself to bed. :D (she still puts herself to bed from time to time, taking her brothers with her, how lucky am I?)
Melody loves to interact with people. She loves to play, talk and show off to whomever will pay attention. She loves to learn and grow and is very good at helping others learn as well. She was so excited about her 6th birthday because that meant she was big enough to start school.

Melody amazes me each and every day with her knowledge, she constantly tells me things that I did not know myself. She even corrects my grammar at times. :D She learns quickly and enjoys it immensely. She has a great sense of humor and can brighten any body's day! We are so grateful to have her as part of our family, what a blessing she is to everybody around her!

WE LOVE YOU MISS MOO!

Fun, Crazy, Possibly Interesting Facts About Me

2009-09-04T10:12:00.009-06:00

Here are a few facts about me in no particular order. I found it quite difficult to come up with as many as I wanted but it was fun to think about what makes me who I am. I am sure I will do another post like this again soon. Please, if there are things you would like to know about me, let me know, I could use some inspiration and ideas. :)

1~ I do not consider myself to be picky about food, however there are certain things I will not eat, such as: leftovers, any gourd like vegetable (squash, zucchini, pumpkin, etc) whether it is cooked, raw or baked into a bread or pie, I am allergic to cloves, if my steak is not totally cooked, I will not eat it, I also have a hard time eating meat that is still on the bone. Other than those few things I love to eat pretty much anything and lots of it! Maybe that would explain my weight! :)

2~ I love, love, LOVE hot chocolate!! I drink it even when it is 100 degrees outside! :D It is definitely my comfort "food" Whenever I have a hard day, don't feel well or just need a pick me up, I can always turn to a cup of hot cocoa to make everything better. I guess I am a bit of a hot chocoholic!

3~ I have lived in Davis County, Utah my whole life in 6 different cities and 8 different houses or apartments (that I can remember). I have attended 5 different Elementary schools, 1 Jr. High, 2 High Schools and the DATC. I would love to find a house and stay there for the rest of my life.

4~ I have never been on a plane. I have only been outside of Utah a few times, drove to California when I was very little and do not remember it, so I don't really count that and have been to Wyoming and Idaho. Have a goal to visit more of Utah and would love to travel and see the U.S.A. one day and possibly visit a couple of other countries.

5~ I have 1 younger sister, who despite having Asperger's Syndrome and Epilepsy is so strong, bright and such a funny, sweet spirit. There are days that I strive to be more like her. She never ceases to amaze me! <3

6~ I have a HUGE extended family, my father has 8 siblings and my mother has 5 and there are many cousins on each side and I have many wonderful memories of growing up around them; bonfires, playing volleyball, running from the boys and whatever gross thing they were doing at the moment, etc. I am trying to create similar memories for my children.

7~ I love having my children close in age and watching them interact and seeing their bond grow stronger each and every day. I would love to have more, if that is what is meant to be. I always dreamed of having a house full of children to teach and learn from, listen to their hopes and dreams and help them achieve each one, be a shoulder to cry on and somebody to laugh with. Being a mom is the best thing I have ever done and I am looking forward to all the moments to come!

8~ I love to watch people, I am intrigued with what they do and why they do it. I would like to go to school for Criminal Psychology and possibly get a job in that field. I love to learn and loved school, though I would often be in trouble for socializing too much though I was usually just trying to help others understand what was being taught or I wanted them to love learning as much as I do. I was often told I should be a teacher and I considered it for a bit but it's just not for me.

9~ I had stitches once when I was 3 or 4 and was doing flips off the couch and hit my head on the corner of a coffee table. You can still see the scar that runs through my right eyebrow. My little sister did the same thing a while later only she ended up cracking her forehead open on the fireplace. Aren't big sisters great examples? ;) I have never broken a bone and have only had 2 surgeries: an emergency C-section with Cadence and my tonsils removed when I was very small.

10~ I would love to get a tattoo and know EXACTLY what I want it to look like, however, I am having a hard time getting over the needle part and I am afraid that the picture in my head won't be able to be perfectly reproduced, which means a lot to me because it would be pretty permanent.

11~ I often wonder if people's obsession with religion is just a Utah thing. I dislike being asked what religion I am, I think it is rude! Possibly because I have a hard time answering the question. I know what I believe in and would rather not be grouped in with any stereotypes. I don't really have a problem talking about what I believe in, I just know what I know and don't feel I necessarily "belong" to any group.

12~ I have many, many pet peeves, most of them have to do with cars. I hate when people don't use their blinkers, whether they are turning or just changing lanes or when they drive down the road with them on, doesn't the noise drive them bonkers? I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe their blinkers are broken (it has happened to me) but it still drives me crazy. I also get incredibly frustrated when people let their young children ride in the front seat, please keep them safe and have your children ride in the back until they are at least 12 and use car seats!!! Don't text while driving, even if you think you can do it safely, you can't! Don't leave your child(ren) alone in the car for any amount of time, I would think this would be common sense, but it apparently is not!Don't leave your dog in the car while you run into the store or whatnot, even if it is "just for a minute" how do you know it won't take longer. If you can't take the dog into the store then leave the poor thing home! Also, don't take your pets (unless it is a service animal) to the grocery store, that just grosses me out, I don't know where your animal has been. Oh my list could go on and on...
13~ I have only been to 2 concerts, so far, both were with my husband and they were both incredible! I look forward to going to many, many more with him!! He has THE best taste in music, I like that his fave bands/artists aren't incredibly well known around here and I love spending time with him.

14~ I have always been the "responsible one" HAHA I have had a lot of responsibilities in my life, my dad often had health issues and my mom worked a lot until she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and I was usually in charge of taking care of my sister. I got my first job, working as a custodian for the school district, at the age of 12 and have worked off and on ever since.

15~ I had a serious boyfriend, whom I was convinced I would marry, at the age of 15. Perhaps, I thought I was mature, smart and grown. Maybe I just needed out of my crazy life. Not quite sure, but I am very grateful that he was there for me in a time of need. I learned many things about myself and life from that experience. Would never let my kids be that serious at that age though!!
16~ I dropped out of school my senior year of High School and then decided I was ready to go back after about a month or so, was told I didn't have enough credits to be able to graduate in time and was sent to an alternative school then ended up getting my GED the same day as my graduation would have been.

17~ I moved out of my parents' house shortly after I turned 18, not a real pretty situation, lived with a friend for a bit, moved back home for a month and then moved into my own apartment. A month later I met Nate and 2 months later I was pregnant! Come September we were married and 12 days later were blessed with a sweet little girl. 13 months later we were blessed with a boy and another boy came 19 months after that! 3 babies and a husband by the time I was 22!

18~ I have a knack for remembering numbers, whether it be phone numbers, social security numbers, birthdays, bank accounts, driver's licenses, etc. It makes filling out paperwork much easier and quicker! I often tease Nate, saying he better never leave or make me incredibly angry because I know his information better than he does.

19~ I am loving my new job at Lowe's! I am learning so many things about tools, hardware, plumbing, flowers, etc. It is making my want for a house stronger, which I am hoping will just be more motivation :) I love having knowledge!
20~ I love games! Most women's closets are filled with clothes and/or shoes, mine is filled with board games and there are still so many I want to buy! We also own 3 video game consoles and TONS of games for each one. If you ever visit our home be prepared to play!!

21~ When I was young I had red hair, which I hated! Now I miss it terribly and I am often dying my hair. I also married a man that has a weakness for red hair, how ironically cruel is that!

22~ I also hated my freckles growing up. Now they are not so noticeable, maybe I have gotten tanner or they disappeared, I am not sure. But, I wish I had many, many more. I suppose, I just like being distinguishable ;)
23~ I LOVE bubble baths! Give me a container of yummy smelling bubble bath, a good book, candles (once in a while) and some peace & quiet and I will be your best friend for life!!!!
24~ I am beginning to think I smile often. It seems that whenever I do not have a huge grin on my face I am questioned about it. People want to know if everything is OK or they flat out ask me where my pretty smile is. :D

25~ I love to sing, I cannot listen to a (good) song and not sing along. I unfortunately have a horrible voice! It took me quite a few years to feel comfy enough to just sing around Nathan. He says he enjoys it but I know better! ;)
26~ I would love to play the drums, however, I do not have the patience or coordination to ever learn. I swear I am tone deaf as well.
27~ My favorite subject in Elementary school was spelling. I love spelling, punctuation and grammar and up until a few months ago was quite anal about it. It seriously wears on me when people misspell things or use incorrect punctuation. I have gotten better at not being a jerk about, at least I think so. Sadly, my parents gave me a first and last name that people can either not pronounce or spell correctly, depending on whether they see or hear it first. In fact, I got so tired of people mispronouncing my first name, that in Jr. High I changed how I wanted it said by everyone. Occasionally I still run into a few people that knew me then and they still pronounce it that way.
28~ I am incredibly claustrophobic. I panic anytime I get into an elevator, closet or any other small room with only one door. One day I accidentally locked the children and I in their bedroom and all logical thought lost my head. I climbed out of the window, closing and locking it behind me then ran to the front door, only to find it locked. I had to go to a neighbor to borrow their phone to call Nate for the spare key, the whole time dressed in only a small night shirt. How embarrassing!

29~ I love to take long, family drives to nowhere. Just load everybody in the car and drive for hours. I find it incredibly relaxing and a great way to spend time talking and learning about one another. We usually stop to play at the park or take a nature hike. It is a Wonderful Sunday afternoon activity!

30~ I never thought I would be one of those moms that are incredibly attached to their children and cry about everything! My mother wasn't like that, so I just figured I wouldn't be either. Well, when I went to register Melody for school, I cried!! I cry every time the kids are sick, anytime they have to get vaccinations and anytime they do something new! I feel like such a baby! I never knew you could have so much love for anybody!! Wouldn't change it for the world!

31~ I have a major sweet tooth, which is bad because I am 1/2 English and have their darn nasty teeth! It seems no matter what I do, my teeth not only look gross but are also falling apart. I love candy, especially chocolate, however and hate not having any in my home.
32~ I have grown to LOVE cooking and baking! I especially like inviting people over and cooking up a bunch of treats for everyone to snack on while they visit! I think I have become pretty decent at it all. I love that I can experiment and express myself in the kitchen.

33~ I LOVE movies! We watch SO many movies and not stupid, chick-flicks either! We subscribed to Blockbuster Online and we had 120 movies on our queue within a day and I don't think it has dropped below 100. We are always looking for interesting, strange, funny, foreign, different movies. Every once in a while we squeeze in a movie that is main stream or popular but they are usually pretty different and unheard of. We are not fans of Disney either, except for a few exceptions, though we do enjoy Pixar!
34~ I once had quite a list of things I would change about myself, now I think I have it down to just a couple. One being how patient I am and the other my social awkwardness. Those 2 things, really get to me sometimes, but I have grown to love everything else about me, thanks to Nate! He has definitely shown me that I am great just the way I am!

2009-08-01T11:14:00.003-06:00

The month of July has sure been busy for our little garden! Besides, the normal Independence Day festivities, which I mentioned in an earlier post, we have had a few activities this past month.

First of all, we were finally blessed with a sweet new baby, Dorian Morgan Duncan born July 21st measuring 22 inches long and weighing 9 pounds 1 oz! We are so glad to have him in our family and excited to watch him grow and change.

We have been spending a lot more time with family these past few months and I am totally loving it! I have especially been enjoying being able to watch Nate reconnect with his big bro and watching the kids interact with their Aunt Lisa, Uncle Marty and Cousin Victoria. We went on a great camping trip with them, which was such a great way to relax and really get to know one another! During one of the days we took a day trip to Bear Lake, which we all truly enjoyed, the kids had fun playing in the sand and watching Jack(The Madsen's dog) swim out and fetch sticks. Nate had a good swim and I had a blast trying to dunk him and just watching everybody have a good time!

While camping Melody discovered this awesome swing, which she was pretty darn good at!

We are so blessed to have such good friends who happen to be our family in our lives!! We love you all!!!

Happy Independence Day!

2009-07-09T09:12:00.004-06:00

Independence Day is one of my favorite holidays, I enjoy watching all the people at the park enjoying family time and getting to really appreciate their freedom. However, I tend to get frustrated that people take it for granted, it is just another day "to party" for them and they are so upset when they "have" to work! I wish people would appreciate the privileges, rights and freedoms they have, it truly makes me sad. I am so grateful that I live in such a wonderful nation and am also very grateful for those who have and do fight for little ole me to have the opportunity to do so!!

Well this year, we had a great 4th! While Nate was at work, the kids and I walked down to the park and watched the parade, we all had such a blast and the kids came home with handfuls of candy. I had such a proud parent moment while at the parade, when the flag came by all 3 of my precious babies stood and put their hands on their hearts and as I looked around at all the people nearby, I noticed a handful of adults who were either sitting or did not have their hands over their hearts and I got so teary eyed. On our walk home, the kids and I talked about the flag and what it stands for and why we celebrate Independence Day.

Later that night, we loaded the kids up and drove to Brigham City to watch the fireworks with family. We had such a blast! The show was great and afterwards the kids played hide-and-seek and tag with their awesome cousins, it was so fun to watch! I wish I had remembered my camera.
It was truly one of the best days I have ever had!! Thanks to everybody that made it possible!

The Youngest Rosebud In My AWESOME Garden!

2009-06-13T12:12:00.003-06:00

Friday, June 5, 2009, my baby boy Cadence turned 3!! Wow! Where did the time go? It seems as if it were yesterday that I was laying in the hospital hearing the scary words "Emergency C-Section" and soon holding this sweet, tiny, bundle of joy! I couldn't wait to share him with his brother and sister and see them bond! He was such a happy, healthy little guy and I was so grateful for that!
I have always wanted a big family with tons of little kids running around, but oddly after Cadence I had this calm, fulfilled feeling. (I would still love more but am strangely content with what I have)

He can brighten any mood with just a smile and he makes us laugh all the time. I love his energy and curiosity!

Fun Facts About Cadence:

Mom was in labor for 24 hours ending in an emergency C-section, but he was SO worth the wait and pain!
His current favorite color is green
He is in love with Thomas the Train
He has a favorite blankie (well actually it was a big blanket cut into a bunch of small pieces so we have one in all his favorite places, such as the car, Mom and Dad's bedroom, his room and a couple in the closet, just in case) that has a very strange texture but he fell in love with it from the very beginning.
He is our only child that does not have brown eyes
His eyes change color between blue and green depending on what he is wearing
He is the only child that had blond hair as a baby
He LOVES to do dishes, anytime Mom opens the dishwasher, no matter where he is and what he is doing he will be by her side helping unload and load the dishwasher!
He also enjoys vacuuming and started turning on and pushing the vacuum around as soon as he could walk
If you ask him his name he will tell you it is Tadence Tisopher (Cadence Christopher)
He loves singing his alphabet and can identify every letter
He can count to 20 and LOVES his "number movie"
He loves typing on the computer
and the list could go on an on!

Cadence is a blessing to everyone around him!

We LOVE YOU CADENCE MONKEY!!!!

Blessings,Craziness and Tons of FUN!

2009-05-28T12:07:00.004-06:00

So, it has been a little while since I last wrote but there has been SO much going on! Where to start.... Well I started a new job, cashiering at Lowe's and I am loving it! The people are nice, pay is great and I have been getting lots of hours, so we have been able to catch up on bills and take care of the things we needed to, however it has been a little strange trying to adjust to working so much and I feel like I am missing out on the kids. I am hoping Nate will be able to move up in his job soon, which I know he is working on, so that I can be home more, especially with Melody starting school soon! I find myself wondering, quite often lately, where has time gone? When did my little babies get so big and smart?? How did I miss what was right in front of me??? I guess that is just a part of being a parent...

Another big, exciting event in our lives was the reconnection of some long-lost, very missed family. It has been great getting to know them and seeing my sweet golden rose happier than I have ever seen him. My sweet little buds have also been thrilled with having more people to hang around with, show off to and make things for, I am loving how incredibly happy and peaceful my little garden has been, these last few weeks! I am also really excited to have these sweet people in my life, we have really seemed to have hit it off and I love how much we all have in common. They have truly been a blessing!

The last, but certainly not least, thing we had happen this month was a surprise party for my sweet sister, who is expecting her first child in a few weeks. We are all so anxious for the little guy to get here! I enjoyed immensely having everybody gather in my home, eating, playing games, talking and relaxing. The best part was that it was the first time we had the whole Madsen clan together in many, many years! I am looking forward to having them all over so many more times! I really enjoyed putting it all together, only wish I had more time to prepare. I would have loved to have actually cooked and put together some better gifts.

All in all, it has been an incredible month, full of so many wonderful blessings! I am very grateful for my family and friends, I would be lost without them! I am excited for the relationships which are blooming around me and all the blessings that I know will come from them! I couldn't be happier!!!

Rainbows

2009-05-03T19:55:00.003-06:00

Well yesterday was my 25th birthday. I am not a fan of my birthday, something bad almost always happens on my birthday. So I decided that this year my birthday was not going to be anything special, just another day, I even went to work.
Let me tell you how my day went down! Well I woke up to Melody throwing up and complaining that she felt ill, oh joy, just what I need, my family passing around some kind of bug. I then felt guilty leaving her to go to work but knew that Nate would take good care of her. So arrive at work and before I have even clocked in, I find myself getting yelled at about something from the day before that was not even my fault. Needless to say, the rest of my shift stunk. I decided that I was going to stay positive and enjoy my day. Well I arrived home in better spirits and Melody was feeling so much better so I was happy and excited to hang out with my family for the day.

I decided we needed groceries and a birthday cake, so I told Nate I would run out and get them and be back quickly to bunker down, pig out and watch movies with the kids. HAHA. I got too excited I guess. Next thing I know I have hit some stupid guy's car and caused mild damage to his bumper. Totally ruined my mood! Needless to say, Nate decided we would go shopping as a family :) We grabbbed the food, picked up some Chili's as well and headed home for our great day! Get home and I dropped the 12 pack of rootbeer in the parking lot and dented EVERY single can! I was so flustered to say the least! But, as we are about to walk through the door, Melody spotted a rainbow and was beaming! She said "the rainbow came just for your birthday Mom!" I turned and looked at the rainbow in a whole new way, I saw it the way Melody was seeing it, as something new and beautiful! It was there to remind me that its all about attitude!
The rest of my day was so relaxing and enjoyable and I decided all in all it was a great birthday! This morning Melody told me "my favorite part of yesterday was seeing your special present, the rainbow!" I told her that was my favorite too!

Not Sure What to Title This...

2009-05-01T16:01:00.004-06:00

My last post was about attitude and making the best out of the situations which may fall into our laps. However, I can't help but feel hurt, anger, bitterness and sadness, especially during the month of May. It is such a hard month for me, I think because it is the month that represents Mothers.
I have so many emotions surrounding my mother, mostly negative ones, that I am trying hard to work through. Sometimes, it is so difficult, especially when speaking to a mutual friend or running into somebody I haven't seen in a long time and having them ask about her. I just want to scream! I want to say "she gave up her mother card(as Dr. Laura would put it) a long time ago!" I know people have the best intentions but it is so frustrating!
I am finally getting to the point where I can just move on with my life and I try to focus on the good parts, past and present. I have also started reading the scriptures and turning to God a bit more, I am taking baby steps because I know it will take time and if I jump in with both feet, as I have done before, I will not get anywhere. I still have anger and frustration directed towards God but I am coming to understand things a little better and those negative feelings are starting to disappear. Again, it all comes down to attitude and choice. :D
I am SO grateful for Nate's wisdom and support in all of this! Maybe time really does heal all wounds, I suppose I will find out.

A Quarter of a Century!

2009-05-01T15:48:00.002-06:00

My birthday is tomorrow, I can't believe I am already going to be 25! Looking back through all the years and all the things I have been through in my life, I have realized that I am grateful for today. I need to live more in the present, the past is over and done, I can't do anything about it and I have also come to realize that I can determine what my future will be by my attitude and decisions today. :D
I was also thinking about all the people that have made an impact on my life and the one common factor was their attitude. The people that could laugh, smile and just be altogether happy despite what may be going on in their own lives are the ones that made me realize that I had control over what my life could be. I am so grateful for the people that helped me make it this far, I am excited to continue this crazy, fun, interesting journey.

The Garden

2009-04-30T10:06:00.000-06:00

My garden is the prettiest, most amazing garden ever! It consists of 4 people besides me. The first 3 are my amazing children, they are the sweetest, smartest, most well behaved children I have ever seen and I am so grateful for them. The oldest is Melody Marie, born September 23rd, 2003. She was the easiest baby ever and has been a very independent, helpful child. Her intelligence and determination both amaze me at times. Next is Coda Craig, born November 5, 2004. He has definitely been more of a challenge for me, but I love his smile, laugh and creativity. He reminds me of his dad in so many ways. Then we have Cadence Christopher, born June 5, 2006. He is so full of life and energy, a smart, (maybe too smart for his own good at times) healthy, happy little boy. They are my pride and joy.

Last but certainly not least, is my Golden Rose, Nathan, he has made me a stronger, happier person than I could have ever hoped to be. I love and admire him dearly. At times, I envy his talent, wisdom and outlook on life but he has helped me come to appreciate all the things that I have to offer and I am grateful to him for that.

That is my garden. I enjoy growing with them and am truly grateful for the opportunity I have been given to nurture and love them.

The Blue Rose

2009-04-30T09:35:00.000-06:00

I am a Blue Rose. I have never been able to fit in with the yellow, red, white or pink roses. I am not as talented, smart, pure or pretty as those roses. However, with the help of my Golden Rose, I have learned to embrace my differences and love my uniqueness. I am a beautiful rose living and growing among many gardens, yet the only one that truly matters is mine!